Skelly's Site

Quote Archive - 2005-2007

Here you can find all sorts of crazy quotes that Skelly has encountered throughout the years. Dating all the way back to 2005, these quotes forever define how funny people can be sometimes.

The Quote Archive is dedicated in loving memory of Stanford Mark Larsen, the first person to have a quote on this page and is the inspiration for this archive. Rest in Peace Stan, you will always be Stantastic.

Added on 9/23/07:

Poog: *looks at bowling shoes all over the floor* Wow....this is like a littered battlefield.
Justin: Or an Ethiopian food festival.

Added on 9/19/07:

"*sigh*, I wish I had a cupcake right now."--Poog
*bangs head with bottle* "Ow! this hurts!, but it makes such a cool noise!"--Poog
John: Most people don't get yearly doctor's checkups.
Steve: Yeah, I think the last time I got one was 2 years ago.
Korey: *gasps* Get your AIDS infested body away from me!

Added on 9/16/07:

Poog: *bowling* Only physics and bowling can make a 3 an 8.
Justin: If you attach a backwards 3 to a 3 it becomes an 8.
Steve: What if you attach a backwards 3 to a normal 3?
Tony: Then you'd get a butterfly
Justin: Really?? *pause* Oh yeah, it does. I learned art!

Added on 9/11/07:

"I want to get to know a lot of old people with nice cars so I can take them when they're dead!"--Sarayu

Added on 9/2/07:

Poog: I got my license! On the first try!! Although I already put a dent in my car's hubcaps.
Steve: What did you hit?
Poog: Curb.

Added on 9/1/07:

"I haven't even played my Gamecube lately. *looks over at Gamecube, which is lying on its side* Look at it!!! It's sittin' over there, all slumped over"--Poog
"Why are there apples on the wall?"--Gabi at Applebees

Added on 8/8/07:

"Ah, Berry Breeze....I feel no breeze."--Eric Pugliano drinking a Capri Sun
"Fruit Dive....now that's a flavor you could use as an insult! 'Shut up, Fruit Dive!'"--Steve Kelly

Added on 8/2/07:

*at Wendy's at 11pm*
Steve: ok, so I think we better not get back in that line again...that person has mopped that same area 3 times now....Vikas, are you sucking ketchup???? *sees Vikas sucking ketchup with a straw from the little ketchup cup*

Added on 7/7/07:

Steve A: (to microphone in drive-in Wendy's) $2.69, all right. *car starts moving in reverse*
Steve K: Did you know you're really dumb?
Steve A: Did you know you're really SHUT THE HELL UP?

Added on 7/12/07:

Sarah E: I'm gonna sit next to Steve! *comes over to Steve*
Girl #1: Uh, Sarah, you completely just ditched your friend over there.
Sarah E: Um, that's definitely my sister!

Added on 7/2/07:

Legend of the Fat Kids:
Video

Added on 6/18/07:

Glenn Sweeney's Ice cream: mp3 file

Added on 6/14/07:

"*running to the bus* I'm gonna make it! Saved! *sees bus pull away* Screwed."--Poog

Added on 6/7/07:

"Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Later! Just Kidding! Buy Now!"--Poog
Poog: An acronym for my name: Poog Awesome Awesome Good.
Vikas: That's Paag!!! Not Poog!

Added on 6/4/07:

Poog's Asbestos Land Song:
There's a mechanical flaw in every ride,
The air's pure carbon monoxide.
The air's so bad that the rats will hide,
Welcome to Asbestos Land!!!

If you want food that's unorthodox,
Filled with typhoid and smallpox
With no warning labels on the box
Come on in to Asbestos Land!!!

Well you're walking around and you sit down,
you sat in a place where someone hurled.
But you gotta admit, its a whole lot better,
Than waiting in lines at Disney World.

All of the rides are covered in SARS.
We have germs imported from Mars.
I think the fumes just melted your cars.
WELCOME TO ASBESTOS LAND!!!!
Where your health concerns aren't ours.

Added on 6/3/07:

"Yeah, Dan's changed a lot this past year, especially since he got accepted into 'Community college'."--Poog

Added on 6/1/07:

*Announcement of Jimmy Z becoming senior class president*
Andrew L: *shakes Bailey's hand* Juniors, welcome to the totalitarian government of Jimmy Z!
"This election is Dumbathon 2007: Vote for the most stupid person!"--Vikas
Steve: You should attach the camper to the back of the station wagon
Dan: Are you saying I should camp out for prom? Nice.
Viki: Camping! It's a legitimate strategy!

Added on 5/22/07:

Poog: Well, you see, we have a lot of various medical supplies in our house, like syringes...plasma....
John M: PLASMA??????? I want some!
Poog: the MEDICAL kind!

Added on 5/21/07:

"*walking down the hall* I HATE IT WHEN FRESHMEN CUT ME OFF IN THE HALLWAY!! *freshman up ahead quickly jumps out of the way*"--Stab

Added on 5/16/07:

"Oh man, I am SUCH a sped!"--Stab

Added on 5/15/07:

"You know, we should take over that lunch table from those morons. But then it would disrupt the delicate balance of nature. People would run around panicked, screaming 'Oh no, nerds are standing up for themselves!!! What do we do now?'"--Poog

Added on 5/13/07:

Steve: All they did at junior prom was give us water and put M&Ms with confetti on the tables.
Poog: I could have thought of that with a beer! *drunk voice* 'allight!! we're gonna put these M&Ms on the table and put confetti on them for flavor! That's appetizing!!'
"If I ever ate meat in front of a vegetarian, they'd look at me like I was barbecuing a kitten or something!"--Poog
"chemically treated pulp wood for the aftermath of urinary expulsions" --Phil's word for "toilet paper"

Added on 5/12/07:

"Watch out, Mr. Paradise can't be so far....*shiver*"--Jesse P

Added on 5/11/07:

*Mrs. S gives the basses a death glare after hearing a really bad note*
Shaun M: That's a face melter!!
Mrs. S: Did you guys put salt in your coffee this morning????

Added on 5/10/07:

"So, what's up with IHop and their stupid name? Why does their name contain "hop?" You'd think since it's a pancake restaurant it would be "IBarelyMove," or "INeedAWheelchair," or "I'mFat!"--Poog

Added on 5/4/07:

"Hey, Mother's Day is coming up soon! I hope she gets me something!"--Litchfield
Tom D: Why the hell can't we walk in the fire lane when there's no fire trucks there?
Mr. Ouellette: It's the law.
Tom D: Well the law can BITE ME!!!!!!!!!!
John M: How do you spell cheese?
Poog: C-H-E-E-S.....*someone drops an f-bomb in class* E. *Everyone is shocked and goes silent*
Poog: Why's everyone laughing?
Steve: You just missed an F bomb that was said in the dead silence.
Poog: Oh man, I missed a funny moment because I was trying to spell "cheese."
Poog: "In class we're learning about this author who had a bunker in his backyard. He invited a special someone to his house. I can imagine what he said to her: "Check it out!!. I've got dehydrated food, a light, and a bunk bed! (I got dibs on the top bunk!!). We're living in the fast lane!!"

Added on 4/24/07:

"If I met Beethoven I would squash him like a bug!" --Sam S
"Normal people read novels. Sam reads music theory textbooks." --Mrs. S
"Musicians are easily pleased. I love them! Mr. S. was practically doing a happy dance just because Spaz came in on time!" --Sam S
"Beethoven's 9th: the musical middle finger to all choral groups." --Skelly
"Beethoven: the man who makes impossible instrumental sounds from vocalists!" --Andrew L
"Steve, you learn two things in concert choir: don't cross Mrs S, and Sam is always right." --Andrew L

Added on 4/19/07:

Steve A: Hey thats Amber.
Gabi: Oh really??.... wait..Do i know her...?

Added on 4/10/07:

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."--Poog

Added on 4/1/07:

"This is a rubik's cube, the object of the game is to get all 6 sides the same color."
"What do you get if you win?"
"Nothing."
"Screw that, give me a Playstation!"--Poog

Added on 3/26/07:

"Damn Facebook. The only part of it I've seen so far is a login screen! Where's the profiles???? Facebook should die in a large fire, along with Yahoo. We should have a large community website burning."--Dan A
"Wait, trees grow in Canada???"--Brad F
"Here's my idea for a Xerox ad:
Xerox Copiers
Xerox Copiers
Xerox Copiers
Xerox Copiers"--Poog

Added on 3/17/07:

"They should invent a new advertising campaign: they should put a huge sign up inside daycare centers advertising for "Trojan Condoms: Because Look Where Not Wearing One Got You."--Poog

Added on 3/8/07:

Jazz Choir song, sung while we're stressed:
Jazz Choir!
Me Say Jazz Me Say Jazz Me Say Jazz Me Say Jazz Choir!!
Jazz Choir sucks and we wanna go home.
Jazz Choir!
Me Say Jazz Choir!!
Jazz Choir sucks and we wanna go home.

Added on 3/4/07:

Catie: I love pancakes.
Gabi: I actually don't like pancakes.
*Fratelli music begins playing. John, Steve and Brad sing along really loudly.*
Catie: But really, what's wrong with pancakes.
Brad: She's totally oblivious...
John: Oh yeah, completely.
Catie: How can you not like pancakes?!
Catie: John, your floor is so hard.
John: That's not the only part of me that's hard, Catie.
Catie: We don't argue enough. We need to argue.
John: OK. Catie, you're a terrible person, WE'RE THROUGH!... *cracks up* I can't say it with a straight face!
Steve: Brad, would you please stop stroking the remote.
Brad: But I like it!
Gabi: It's his new love.
Steve: Yeah. Brad likes playing with his "wee".
Brad: *makes "jerking" motion* WHY WON'T IT WORK!

Added on 2/21/07:

"F**K the F**King F**K Wind F**K!!!!!!"--Jason S playing ultimate frisbee

Added on 2/16/07:

Vikas: Steve, go online and buy the headset, you won't get ripped off as much.
Steve A: Yeah, I agree, go online and buy it.
Vikas: On second thought, don't buy it online.
Steve A: Actually, yeah, it's better at the store 'cause you won't need shipping.
Vikas: No wait, buy it online. I can't agree with anything Steve says.
"I have to write a Feces Paper! Crap!"--Eric Pugliano

Added on 2/14/07:

"Doesn't matter if there's a snowstorm and school's canceled, I got 4-wheel drive, I'll be here!"--Mr. Ouellette

Added on 2/10/07:

"Oh sweet mother of Saint eBay, where would we be without you?"--Gerry C
Musical names-modified for Brad:

Sweeney Brad
Beauty and the Brad
Wicked Brad
The Phantom of the Brad
The Brad King/The Lion Brad
A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Brad
You're a Good Man, Charlie Brad/Brad Brown
Jane Brad/Brad Eyre
Project Brad
ShowBrad
UrineBrad

"You get to be the women inspector. 'OH I'M A BIG FAG WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!'"--Brandon M

Added on 2/7/07:

Beau: Gracias
Brad: Venada
Steve: What the hell was that? It's De Nada. What are you speaking?
Brad: Drunkenese

Added on 1/31/07:

[anonymous 1]: So, I was talking to [anonymous 3] the other day...
[anonymous 2]: [anonymous 3]??? He's in my 2nd block statistics class, I HATE THAT KID!!!!!! HE'S ALWAYS STEALING MY PARKING SPACE!!!!!!!
Jackie: with all that preaching, i felt like i was in a church!!!
Steve A.: well, you were in a church, but thats beyond the point...

Added on 1/24/07:

"I just walked by that candy store...and it made me want to brush my teeth. *whips out toothbrush*"--Stanford L

Added on 1/19/07:

'Cause You're a Freshman
Lyrics by John C:
It's your first day of school,
And you're waiting for the class to start,
The only one you know, in your sophomore geometry class,
but oh-oh, there's a problem,
everyone, i mean everyone, wants to kick your ass,
so you're worried,
you're distressed,
but I'll tell you what the problem is in case you haven't guessed,
it's 'cause you're a freshman,
a good for nothin' freshman,
yes it's true, everyone really does hate you.
'cause you're a freshman, there's nothin' else to it,
you're a freshman, and there's nothin' else you can do.
So you're walkin' down the hallway,
Tryin' to get through, with a backpack bigger than you,
you're trying to find your English class,
and you're sure, it's on the 4th floor by the pool,
did anyone tell you, freshman,
that you're a ****in stupid gullible freshman too?
it's 'cause you're a freshman (man, you're a freshman),
a good for nothin' freshman (freshman, freshman),
yes it's true (God damn it freshman), everyone really does hate you (freshman, freshman)
'cause you're a freshman, there's nothin' else to it,
you're a freshman, and there's nothin' you can do.
So you wanna know what's wrong with you,
I can tell you in just a few words,
the truth is that there's nothin' right with you,
you God damn freshmen turds,
so if that's just isn't good enough, then damn it, just leave,
'cause we have no reason to hate you, except for the fact that you breathe,
'cause you're a freshman (man, you're a freshman),
a good for nothin' freshman (good for nothing freshman),
yes it's true, everyone really does hate you
ohhh there's nothin' else to it,
freshman, freshman, freshman, freshman,
yeah, that's it really. so get the hell out of our school. like seriously, all of you. And Brad, get yourself a damn girlfriend, huh? so yep, you got it, that's all folks, yeah the song is over now. no, i mean really, it's definitely over, finished, just waitin' for the fade out, you gotta do that sometimes.

Added on 1/18/07:

"*baptist preacher voice* PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM LIKE RAISIN BRAN!!!!"--Shaun M
Ben: Hey John...*starts laughing*
Mark: What the hell did you do to my car????
Steve A: Comfortable?
Shaun M: OW!!!!
Steve A: Guess not.

Added on 1/16/07:

Poog: Yes! On Friday we'll have a tandem Christopher's lunch, followed by a tandem ride to Best Buy to use Steve's discount to buy Guitar Hero II, then a tandem ride back to my house to play Guitar Hero all day!
Steve: What's tandem mean?
Poog: I dunno.
Steve K: So, did you find Red Steel?
Steve A: No, did you find it?
Steve K: No.
Steve K and Steve A: Damn. "I walked outside today [after a big ice storm] and all the trees were bowing down to me! FINALLY! Nature is finally bowing down to me!"--Nick Z

Added on 1/12/07:

*Playing BS* "Poog wears.....2 twos!!!"--Jon A and John P

Added on 1/11/07:

"Steve, you drive worse than Rich handles relationships!"--Poog

Added on 1/9/07:

"Yes, I'm not a music geek. What's a Tenor?"-- Farhan Q
*sees badly made Guitar Hero-like game in Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz, only used with the Wiimote* "So, it's Trombone Hero. This is what happens when Guitar Hero meets Super Monkey Ball."--Steve K

Added on 1/8/07:

"So I heard of this game called Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi, and I first thought it said Ten Kinds of Itchy."--Justin D
Showtune quotes/words so far:
Brad: *text messaging people* The Patriots are losing!
John: *from across the room* BRAD, SHUT UP ABOUT THE ****ING FOOTBALL GAME!!

Added on 1/1/07:

"Ever notice that the night goes by really fast until about 3 o'clock? It's been 3 o'clock for like, 2 hours now!"--Steve K
Playing Counter-Strike:
"*gets killed* That's not very cool. *his team wins* Cool!"--Poog

Added on 12/22/06:

"Hey look, it's the procrastination plane! We'll fly later."--Poog

Added on 12/21/06:

"You put the 'fun' in 'screw you!' "--Poog
"I just thought of something really funny guys. *grins*"--Poog
bass chant

STDs are bad...the mp3

Steve A: Hey Kathryn, nice drapes (commenting on how the concert choir dresses are crappy)
Kathryn B.: Thanks, but I wouldn't hang it in my house though.
Josh G: Yeah, I wouldn't hang it in my house either.
Steve A: Wait, you wouldn't hang Katheryn in your house?
Josh G: No, I wouldn't hang the drapes in my house, I might hang Kathryn in my house though.

Added on 12/18/06:

"*sigh*, my legs look like Cheetos."--Poog

Added on 12/15/06:

Mike S: Where's your class?
Mr. Evans: I liquified them.
Steve A: With a liquifying gun?

Added on 12/12/06:

"You have no idea how beautiful it is to see the blinking lights of the racks of switches and routers in the morning when it's dark in the computer lab, oh it's like Christmas in the morning."--Mr. Ouellette
Mr. Ouellette: Why have you been not showing up this past week?
Tom Duff: I was home! Making......................eggs.

Added on 12/10/06:

Steve K: *after witnessing stupid people* Aren't there laws against being that stupid!?
Steve A: Those two need to earn themselves Darwin awards, anything that comes from them will doom the world.
Steve K: Yeah, i fear for the future of our school with that freshmen class of theirs.

Added on 12/9/06:

John C's STDs song: Link 1, Link 2
So listen up kids... I got a story to tell you. So there's this guy, right. His name's Moe. Moe was a good guy. Got good grades in high school, went to a good college, had a respectable family name... that was, until that one night -- at a bar. Moe met a young lady, and she was lookin' mighty fine. But little did Moe know of the consequences of the events that would occur... that night...
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!
Gonorrhea...
Syphilis...
HIV...
*silence*
AIDS.
Sing it kids!
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!
STD'S ARE BAD!

Added on 12/6/06:

*talking about video formats viewable on the Wii while driving* "Wait, you mean you use (drives into a pack of birds crossing the street) wmvvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVV BIRDIES!!!!" --Steve A -

Audio file

Added on 12/4/06:

"Every time you download music you download communism!"--Mark R

Added on 12/3/06:

Catie C: So you're auditioning for Showtune, right?
Steve K: yup.
Catie C: yay, so I won't be Steveless for too long.

Added on 12/1/06:

"I want my own on demand weather channel brought to me by the meteorologists at Nintendo"--Steve A
Mrs. S: Girls, hands to yourselves.
Mike S: I've been waiting my whole life to hear that.

Added on 11/29/06:

Visitor: where is Stan?
Mrs. Larsen: oh, he's in the living room Wiiing
Visitor: okay, i'll wait until he's done

Added on 11/27/06:

"Seems you were all wrong on that one, now go contemplate on what you suck at."--Mike S

Added on 11/24/06:

*in stupid voice* I DUNNO!!!, THAT WAY!!!, THEY PAY ME!!!--what Steve A planned to say to customers on Black Friday to avoid mobs of people asking for help at Best Buy
"LOOK IN THE SKY ITS A BIRD! ITS A PLANE! ITS... Lost my interest." - Todd C

Added on 11/4/06:

Kenny G: My laptop has a serial port on it! They don't even make those crappy things anymore!
Mark R: Yeah, who would want a port on a laptop that lets you insert Cheerios?
The poog rap
"calzone, calzone, calzone, with cheese, and pep, peroni, and saus, age, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza!"--Allen H
*to the tune of the beginning of 'A new Argentina'* "Rice-A-Roniiiiiiiii!!! The San Francisco Treat!"--Bob F

Added on 10/29/06:

Steve: Just ask him, he's right there.
John: I can't ask him now, he's talking to someone I'd never think of interrupting.........HEY JEFF!!!

Added on 10/27/06:

*Glenn is explaining about homosapiens in lunch and being sciency*
Shaun: (screams) I'M A HOMOSEXUAL!!!
Jesse: It's homosapien, dumbass.
Shaun: Shut up... i thought Glenn was trying to confuse me *whole lunch room stares at shaun*
John C: It's amazing...how rediculously tall you are.
Steve K: It's amazing...how rediculously awesome I am.

Added on 10/24/06:

*drumline is sitting at the floor*
Mr. Couronis: Just wanted to make sure that you guys weren't dead
Poog: Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you??
Ms. Roger: Do you guys know a person who is usually the victim around everyone?
Everyone: Poog!!
Poog: Huh? What? Why is everyone saying Poog?????????????

Added on 10/23/06:

John C: Well, there's 2 reasons for that, 1: I'm tired, and B:...
Steve: wait, you just said B after 1
John C: #&%$ YOU!!!
Scott S: To ease tensions with patching up numbers, we will not re-run the act tonight
Cast: Yay!
Scott S: Now, FINISH THE GODDAMN NUMBER!
Scott S: I'll be here to help you guys until the opening night.
Cast member: then where will you be?
Scott S: I'll be drunk! *imitates being drunk* Oh man! She almost fell off the bed! Who directed this piece of $#%&?? Good night and thank you!!

Added on 10/21/06:

Ms. R: can you name a disney movie in which the mother dies?
*people in the class mention movies like Bambi, the Lion King and Pocahontus*
Poog: STAR WARS EPISODE 3!!!!
"The Yankees lost to a third seed pitcher. Not a first seed pitcher. Not a second seed pitcher. But a third seed pitcher with a 5.6 ERA!!!"--Poog
Poog: Ok, where's the quote archive again?
Steve: Okay, the website is www.freewebs.com/doshindude/quotearchive.htm
Poog: you mean I gotta memorize ".htm"???

Added on 10/18/06:

Poog: well, can't you put my bike in your trunk?
Steve: i drive a 91 camry, it won't fit.
Poog: well, can i put it in the back seat of your car?
Steve: yeah, i drive a 91 camry, it still won't fit.
Poog: well, can i at least take off a wheel?
Steve: from my car? yeah, like that will get me far!!!

Added on 10/13/06:

"STEVO ONE ZERO SEVEN, AWAY!!!"--Steve A

Added on 10/12/06:

"Everybody loves gabi, because gabi is ****ing amazing"--Gabrielle B

Added on 10/6/06:

Steve: The 30,000 candlepin challenge is open to kids, but we only get college money for winning
Poog: College money??? That's Worthless!!!
"Give me a C, a bouncy C!"--Jeff P

Added on 10/5/06:

Josh: *sigh* "I can't believe it's already fall..."
*Tracy gets hit in the eye by a falling leaf*
Tracy: "Ow!"

Added on 10/4/06:

"my class has about as much school spirit as an emo band on depressants...go team"--Sara K

Added on 9/30/06:

AJ: Poog, we need to get you to be a badass.
Poog: Well, I thought I was considered a badass already.

Added on 9/29/06:

"I love New England, the weather sucks!!"--AJ after band practice gets canceled due to rain

Added on 9/28/06:

School Technology Specialist: Email is old school, now we have a thing called community portals, where we post messages there, all you have to do is open up your internet and you can see messages there. It's much faster than email and it works like a website
Steve: Isn't that LESS convinient, seeing that you need to open up another window and not having it notify you?
School Technology Specialist: No, because your email will notify you if you have a message there, and you can check the portal for it.
Steve: Then why not just use email if it's going to continue to send messages to it?????????!?!?!?

Added on 9/26/06:

Jeff P: Now we're gonna sing...
Cast member: GOD DAMNIT!!!!
Jeff P: ok, we'll sing "God Damnit!"
AJ: I'm not an idiot, I don't........*stops*
Steve: Why did you just stop mid-sentence?
AJ: lookin' at a girl.

Added on 9/21/06:

*in REALLY high pitched voice* "YAY! HAPPY TENORS! YAY!!"--Shaun M

Added on 9/17/06:

"maybe you could stay after and have sexxxxxxxxxxtionals"--Known but Anonymous

Added on 9/16/06:

"You got a zero!! a blind lady with no elboes could do better than you!!"--Justin D at bowling
"I'll take a knife by the blade and stab you with the handle!!"--Justin D
Justin: Nice Zero, Tony
Tony: I messed up!
Justin: Nice. Zero.
Tony: Shut up!
Justin: NICE. ZERO.
Tony: Aww, you messed it up! you got a 303! you were 3 points over 300!!
Steve: Damn, if I were in "The Price is Right," I would've lost by now!!

Added on 9/15/06:

Jesse: F$#@ THE TENORS! Shaun: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA!

Added on 9/12/06:

"Don't quote me on this, but Did you know that stupid people are so dumb that their idiocy will be their own freaking downfall? I mean, seriously, they would jump off a cliff if you asked them to. and they like to annoy people and piss them off so much to the point that they go nuts and stupider than before and will get them to go insane and will have to check into an asylum!!!!!!!!"--Steve K, Quoted by Steve A

Added on 9/10/06:

"computers age like dogs: one year in computer is like 7 years in human years."--Dan Artz

Added on 9/6/06:

"I love all my children....Please don't come in with guns and shoot me."--Ms. B

Added on 9/5/06:

"You know all about how the school is trying to make lunches even MORE healthier??? well, I think they're just crazy, like, when they took away that ice cream machine, i couldn't take it!! And what's up with....Baked Chips?? BAKED....CHIPS!!!!! It's like the guys who made those were like "ok, we're gonna take chips, and not fry them, we're gonna bake them." Ok, granted, you'll eat them becuase you're starving when you go to lunch, but if you went to a store, you wouldn't buy those, you'd be like *makes a balance scale gesture* "Chips..............cardboard with salt..............chips............cardboard with salt" you're obvously gonna pick the chips. And what's up with baked chips costing more than regular chips???? it's almost like sugar free candy! they sell crappier food for a higher price!"--Ms. B

Added on 9/2/06:

*concert choir sectional, one of the freshmen isn't singing*
*Mike Spaz throws a shoe at said freshman*
Spaz: SING, DAMNIT!!!!
Freshman: but I don't know the song yet!
Spaz: Does it look like I care??? Sing!!!

Added on 9/1/06:

Mr. C: Trinity doesn't have a marching band, so you'll be the only ones there. Poog: Yeah, they don't have a football team either.

Added on 8/29/06:

Steve: i have 2 computer classes (aka LAN parties) back to back first thing in the morning
Stan: lol
Steve: well not really
Steve: one of them is actually kinda challenging
Stan: challenging LAN party?

Added on 8/27/06:

"whats lawl mean"--Brad F
*to the tune of Beat It* Dumbass! Dumbass! Get away from me you dumbass! You don't know what you're doin', you dumbass!!--AJ

Added on 8/21/06:

"having lots of friends beats the hell out of... not having lots of friends"--John C

Added on 8/19/06:

Fixing a computer at 3 am:
Steve A: The computer is restoring back to it's state 7 hours ago.
Steve K: So I guess we shouldn't try to shut it off while it's restoring, or else it'll get caught in a time warp between now and 7 hours ago.
Steve A: Dude, I think we just discovered how to make a time machine, System Restore! Although it would only be limited to 7 hours ago and now.

Added on 8/18/06:

Steve A: Ok, since none of you were probably planning this, you're probably all going to be smelling like water buffaloes in the morning
Eric: Wait....you have water buffaloes?
*all laugh hysterically*
Eric: *doesn't get it* Oh wait, it's what I said that was funny!!!
"Hey Trump, you're hired!" -Poog
*talking about Fantasy Baseball*
Vikas: "dude, 96 points, almost half as much as me!!"
Poog: "YAY!! in golf, I'd be winning!"
"Viagra is being advertised everywhere these days, you might even see it in a daycare center!"--Poog

Added on 8/15/06:

"Ever wonder why whenever there is a car crash, there is always more than one person coming over to look? Say you're in your basement, on the computer, and BOOM! there's a crash outside, you don't want to go alone, so you call up your neighbor and go "hey, you wanna come see the car crash with me?" and you go with them, and after a while a big crowd of people come over to the scene with one of those banners that need 2 people to hold it and it says: "CAR CRASH" and all the little kids are going "Go car crash, go!"--Andrew L
Mike: We just spent two hours of talking in twenty minutes...
Adam: That doesn't even ****ing making sense!
Adam: Hey, where's the bathroom?
Mike: I don't know, it's the room with the toilet in it...
Mike and Lanea recite lines from The Birdcage:
Catie: What's that from?
Adam: It's from the Parent Trap, Catie.
Mike: We aren't really awake, this is all a dream. We will all wake up in 3... 2...
John: Whoooooooaaaaaaaa....
Mike, John, and Lanea are discussing drugs.
Adam (in a stoner voice): Duuude, I know what you mean...
all laugh.
Adam: And I didn't even mean for it to sound like that!
John: well Lanea, do you think the world revolves around you?
Lanea: no
John: Then you're not a soprano
Audio files from Abodeely's sophomore year:

Added on 8/12/06:

Steve A: it's hard to bargle nawdle zaous with all these marbles in my mouth
Steve K: kk
Steve A: one more k and you'd be racist
Steve K: k
Steve K: k.5
Steve A: nazi
Steve K: izan
Steve A: oh that's it
Steve A: you frickin nazi
Steve A: no, no more from you

Added on 7/30/06:

"we're off to see the asshole, the wonderful asshole of paul, he really is a wonderful asshole if ever an asshole there was if ever a wonderful asshole there was bgdumbass54 is one because becuase becuase becuase becuase because no one has seen to deny he does!" --Jasmine J and Paul G

Added on 7/24/06:

"i just don't talk to random tattoos all the time"--Rachel P
"i just moved furniture, and am currently mad at G4"--Steve A

Added on 7/18/06:

"this game is such a waste of my life...........I like it." --Dan A obsessing over Kid Speedy.

Added on 7/15/06:

Steve: Where'd you get those headphones?
Chrissy: In the grocery store.
Steve: Where in the grocery store?
Chrissy: Produce.
Steve: Um....sure. Where exactly in the produce section did you find headphones? Be specific.
Chrissy: Next to the headphones.

Added on 6/29/06:

"By the power of Grayskull....I....HAVE...THE...*sword goes through ceiling*
*looks up*
...ceiling repair bill."--Stan L

Added on 6/27/06:

Semi old Showstoppers '05 quotes blowout:
"Shut up Miss Saigon!"--John V
Brady: Somebody say ho
Cast: HO!
Brady: Somebody say mo
Cast: MO!
Brady: HO!
Cast: HO!
Brady: MO!
Cast: MO!
Everyone: HOMOOOO!
" GOOD NEWS! HE'S DEAD! JOHN VICTOR'S DEAD!"--The cast when we found out that John Victor ditched us to go to Canobie lake
"Bad plan to get green and then have to pee...."--Brady L
Hey, Oz looks a lot like Joel!"--Erica M
"It's G.I. Joel!"--Steve K
"HOLY IWASKIEWICZ, BATMAN!"--Steve K
"WHERE IS MY CRIPPLED SISTER????? GET THE HELL IN HERE!!!!!"--Brady L
"JOHN VICTOR HOW THE HELL ARE YA?"--Quotist unknown
"Oh my gawd! I love hihihihihim!"--Quotist Unknown
"COULD YOU SIT DOWN LIKE A CIVILIZED CHILD?!"--Quotist unknown
"You're a Wizard, Joelly!"--Quotist unknown
Quotist unknown: John Victor what are you doing?
John Victor: Taking provocative cell phone pictures!
"Michele, can I fall over drunk in this.....?"--Brad F
"I gotcha _____ right here!"--John V
"Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here!"--John V

Added on 6/23/06:

"What I see in Pokemon is: Dictatorships, 150 different 1 word languages, and Newspeak."--Steve A

Added on 6/22/06:

"i dont really know why it's insane anyways, it should be like...unsane. if you are insane arent you're just...in sane, which means you are within the realms of sane. so insane is basically just saying your sane. hey, you are in sane. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE OUT OF SANE! I'M KICKING YOU OUT! you are UNsane! just one letter away from funsane!"--Molly B

Added on 6/19/06:

Steve K: turn your computer off at around 6:20, severe thunderstorm warning
Steve A: in the morning?
Steve A: 7:20
Steve A: okay
Steve K: no 6:20
Steve A: you said 6:20
Steve K: yea
Steve A: it's 6:53
Steve K: wha...?
Steve A: good job dumbass
"*random talking on phone* AAAHHHHH!!! HE SPRAYED ME! JOHN SPRAYED ME WITH THE KITCHEN HOSE!"--Steve A
"Yeah-but....yeah-but.....ye-b't....ye-b't....." -Glenn S
"Glenn you sound like a demented frog" -Sam S
"I was imitating YOU" -Glenn

Added on 6/17/06:

"HAPPY FIELD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"--Vikas yelling at the new searles kids while going by the school.
"Ugghhh......I hate the piss position..."--Stan Larsen in the hospital
Stan's dad: What can I do for you, Stan?
Stan: Roll me over
*stan gets rolled over*
Stan: AAAAHHHHH!!!
Stan's dad: what???
Stan: that was my testicle!!!!!!!!!

Added on 6/16/06:

Vikas: "Dan, why are you driving on the left side?"
Dan: (realizes he's on the wrong side of the road) "OH $#!+ !!!!!!!!!"
"It's not the amount of BS that matters, its the quality of the BS"--Vikas on final exam projects

Added on 6/15/06:

Nurse (as we walk into pediatrics): Let me guess, Stan Larsen, right?
Us: Yep.
Nurse: Room 5, he's had a lot of visitors already.
"It doesn't hurt as much anymore, thanks to the magic button of morphine."--Stan Larsen
"eeewww.....Can someone please move this tube? I don't exactly want to get strangled in my own bile!"--Stan Larsen
Rest in peace, Stanford. You produced some of the best quotes ever.

Added on 6/8/06:

"you should have seen me when i went to my friends house with hard wood floors...oooooh man i spun until i fell over..but i didnt know i fell over so my legs were still going and i thought i was standing and then i was like WHAT THE HELL? WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR! and it was a contest with my other friend and they were like..."because you lost". i < 3 spinning."--Molly B
"want to hear a funny story? i was just in the kitchen doing i dont even know what and i called my phone with my house phone to listen to my ring tone cuz i couldnt remember what it was and then i never ended the call because i put down the phone and was spinning on the floor and so then it was like one new voice mail so i listened to it and it was me singing for like 10 minutes"--Molly B

Added on 6/6/06:

"Tenors: think about the english teacup."--The guy who judged us in the Toronto competition
"I never buy anything unless it's free."--Eric P

Added on 6/5/06:

"There's a lodge balled in the fence!"--Molly B

Added on 6/1/06:

Phil L- "That is so cheap, she is holding an electronic baby!" ::points at person.::
Josh P- "Really? where?"
Phil- "Right there."
Josh- "What the crap... we can't have computers but that class gets robotic babies?" The whole idea is crap.

Added on 5/31/06:

Josh: This is like a Massively Multiplayer Offline Hug on Josh
Steve: Or a MMOHOJ.

Added on 5/27/06:

Steve and Vikas' sales pitch for selling stuff at bake sales, guaranteed to work:
*sung in monotone*
Buy our stuff, Buy our stuff!
Buy our, Buy our, Buy our stuff!
"Hey look! It's a craptop!"--Stan Larsen
Steve K: Check quote archive
Steve A: Speak in sentences please
Steve K: Check the quote archive
Steve A: still not a full sentence
Steve A: you forgot punctuation.
Steve K: stevo, check the quote archive before I rip your head off.
Steve K: aka decapitation
Steve K: SENTENCE!
Steve A: aka another entry for the archive

Added on 5/26/06:

"In the name of WENDEL, I command that a cheese, pepperoni, and Hawaiian Pizza be brought forth!"--Stan Larsen
"What does a baked potato say? 'CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!'"--Stan Larsen
"DOG!" *scoops up a dog*--Stan Larsen--Hear it!

Added on 5/24/06:

"(progressively getting louder) If the demand goes up....PRICES GO UP!!!!!! If the prices go up, PROFITS GO UP!!!!!!! *starts scribbling white board with black marker and screaming very high*"--Mr. Sherman
"Almost all of your quotes on the quote archive are misquoted."--Vikas

Added on 5/23/06:

"WHY THE WII?????"--Stan Larsen
*walks over to hotel room window* "Look, this is an awesome sniping position, i can see into that first floor hallway through that skylight!!! BOOM HEADSHOT!!! BOOM HEADSHOT!!!"--Steve
"Rich, your relationship with her, it's kinda like minute rice. It's ready in no time, but it will be eaten quick enough."--Steve A
"You want a good type of relationship, Poog, not a Rich Fulton relationship."--Steve A

Added on 5/22/06:

"Niagra falls is great, I can snipe someone on the American side from the Canadian side!"--Eric P
Steve A: I'm gonna use these stairs. *walks towards a window*
Steve K: That's a window.
"I can't get to sleep with numbnuts and Jr. Officer Incompetence over here!"--Eric P

Added on 5/18/06:

Reactions to Steve's haircut:
Eric: You look 10 years younger!
Molly: You look less like a bear.
Stan: HAIRCUT!!!
Vikas: You look more like a person now!

Added on 5/14/06:

"Would you jump off a cliff if your friends did? No! Be a greater person, rise above the others and find a higher cliff!"--Vikas"

Added on 5/13/06:

John C: I hate Mondays. Steve: It's Saturday.

Added on 5/11/06:

"My day basically walked up to me, went "hi Abby!" and then WHAM! Hit me in the back of the head, knocked me down, and then went 'HUH? WHAT NOW, *****??' That is how my day went."--Abby D
"Swab the decks!
'But sir, we don't have any decks!'
Then build a deck, get it dirty, and swab it, Lacky!"--Nick T

Added on 5/4/06:

"*sees random kid that's not in our class*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
Who's that kid?
i can't take random kids off the street!!
he must be one of those BG kids, probably can't get a good enough education!"--Ms. K

Added on 5/2/06:

"If you have any of those stick Thingies that you put in the computer, bring them in and use them"--Ms. K

Added on 4/29/06:

Stan: I've been working on getting my Eagle
Steve: eagle?
Steve: what's that?
Steve: ooooohh
Steve: real life
Steve: i thought that was Metroid Prime Hunters

Added on 4/22/06:

"Say it loudly, say it proudly: **** you!"--Shaun M

Added on 4/21/06:

Glenn's comparison of chorale and concert choir

Added on 4/11/06:

Andrew L snoring

Abby D: (reacting to being jumped on) Good God!!
Stan Larsen: Yes, He is, isn't He?

Added on 4/10/06:

Josh: I turn 18 this saturday
Russ: What??? 'you turned 18 this saturday'??!?!?!? Did you fail english or something?
Josh: No! I turn 18 this saturday!
Russ: No, I know you said 'I turned 18 this saturday'! Someone failed Listening Class!
Mike S: Can I have some lead, Mrs. S? I'm all out
*Mrs. S takes some lead out of her mechanical pencil and gives it to him*
Mrs S.: Here, have some lead!
Andrew L: Ok, I just tuned into this conversation when she said 'have some lead' and for a minute there I thought she was going to shoot him!

Added on 4/8/06:

"ok...there's 2 random people outside our room...just kneeling there in the middle of the hallway...and they're freaking me out...so I'm gonna keep popping my head out the door, stare at them for 3 seconds, and then go back in"--Vikas
"I'm joining chorus, all because of ****ing Dominoes and they're crappy delivery service, making me stay up until 12:30 to eat a pizza."--Vikas
Steve: Y'know, what would be funny? if the pizza came as soon as we fell asleep.
*knock on door as we're asleep*
Vikas: I hate you, Steve.
"If they're [dominoes pizza delivery people] 5 minutes late for delivery: no tip. If they're an hour late, they better drop the pizza, ding, and run. If they're 3 hours late, they become your personal slave forever!"--Andrew L
"We are such assholes."--John C
"Why do you care? He's a random, power tripping jackass handyman at a frickin' best western!"--Vikas
Mike S: Where's the list of free s*** they'll bring me? *checks list on the wall in the bathroom*
*calls front desk*
(on phone): Yeah, can I get some towels, a comb, shampoo, and a sewing kit? And can you deliver it to me? The All State people locked me in my room.
Vikas: If that Dominoes guy comes here, I'm gonna frickin' beat him down. *starts pounding on Andrew*
Andrew: Why are you beating me up?
Vikas: beating you up in proxy.
Andrew: So I'm now the proxy dominoes delivery guy?
Vikas: Yes.

Added on 3/28/06:

"DON'T...TOUCH...THE CONSTABLE. DON'T...MOCK...THE CONSTABLE."--Rusty S

Added on 3/27/06:

"We're in Russia, the country that invented Vodka! and what are we drinking??? Canadian Whiskey."--Andrew L
Ms. K: What do you think a madrigal is about?
Mike S: Chickens.
Ms. K: This song should be fun, it's gossip and it has chickens and stuff!
Mike S: Actually, chickens are pretty boring.
"The reason we can't be quiet and band kids can is because he [Mr. C] whips them if they talk! But we have personality, they don't!"--Mike S

Added on 3/25/06:

"That's not dancing, that's vertical sex with clothes on"--Stan Larsen voicing his opinion on grinding.
"I'm tired and high on Pepsi, shut up."--Andrew L

Added on 3/19/06:

Vikas' poem for english class:
"About that poem,
the poem is night,
screw this,
I'm sitting right here,
giggity giggity giggity"

Added on 3/17/06:

"This is how i did my essay: Random BS, random BS, Random BS, I'm out of ideas...random stuff random stuff, HEY! now i got ideas! good stuff, good stuff, good stuff...hey! my essay's done!"--Vikas

Added on 3/16/06:

"Why would you anyone want to get high from choking themselves? I could get the same effect by microwaving a twinkie for 15 seconds and then eating it!"--Ms. K
"Gonzaga University? Sounds like a tribal yell. GONZAGA! GONZAGA!!!! *prances around room yelling it*"--Mrs. K

Added on 3/12/06:

"Wow...just a few minutes ago you sucked, but now you won! You know what? We all suck but you now!"--Ariel H

Added on 3/8/06:

"BFBG: Big ****ing Bagle Gun!"--Andrew L
"The only good thing Dan was for was for giving me advice on how to steal a tank in GTA San Andreas. 'Sky dive out of a plane, parachute into a military base, and steal it.' that was his advice."--Andrew L

Added on 3/4/06:

"I'm sucking and you're doing good, you know what to do: pick up my slack."--Justin D
"You're throwing me a birthday party? This better not be at Kinko's again!"--Justin D

Added on 3/1/06:

"When you take my 6 week karate course, you will learn how to decapitate yourself!"--Dan A

Added on 2/26/06:

"What do we leave?
Nothing Much.
Only Stanatevka."--Josh G

Added on 2/25/06:

"We don't need no Lazar Wolf!
Hey Lazar, leave those kids alone!
What are you, some kind of pedophile?"--Andrew L
Me: So, i bet you can pronounce those french words pretty well since you took 3 years of french, huh?
Andrew L: Nope.
Me: Why?
Andrew L: I FAILED 3 years of french!
"Oh, i just LOVE it when we're doing ANOTHER FRENCH PIECE. I just LOVE singing EVERYTHING in FRENCH ALL THE TIME, especially when we did it for THE WHOLE DAY. If you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."--Mike S
"A french piece? No Me Gusta!"--Mike S

Added on 2/23/06:

Josh G (as Lazar Wolf): That's what you get, for letting a wild woman into your house!
Mike S: I'M A MAN!!!!!

Added on 2/18/06:

"Faster than a speeding camel, more powerful than...a rock, and he can leap, large trees. Who is he? HE'S SUPERJESUS!"--Ryan L
*randomly bursts into room from bathroom* "I will never drink mountain dew again!"--Ryan L after confirmation class just got done watching Pay it Forward, while everyone is being very emotional at that point

Added on 2/11/06:

"First, it started in 6th grade. 'hey everybody! look, there's a new thing called AIM! It's so cool, you can send messages to people and talk to them!' then all of a sudden: 'hey look, did you know that there's a thing called a profile where you could talk about yourself?' And then it was: "who cares about profiles? it's all about BuddyProfiles!' So everyone got BuddyProfiles. And then in 7th grade it was like: 'Hey, BuddyProfiles are old school now, did you hear about LiveJournals! You can post stuff every day in that stuff! livejournallivejournallivejournallivejournal' And then in 8th grade it was: 'LiveJournals? those are so stupid, it's all about Xangas now! you can post a lot more stuff in that!' And in 9th grade it was like: 'Xanga? I can't even pronounce that, it's all about MySpace now!' Each one progressively gave out more personal information every time.--Vikas

Added on 2/7/06:

"very gggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwdddd. quote that. that is a where's the fridge moment. "--Steve A

Added on 2/6/06:

"If college kids used these words, then we have a bunch of dumb people"--Vikas talking about our "College" English vocab book.
"Tracy's like coffee: she's hot, and smells good."--Andrew L

Added on 2/1/06:

"What's an inappropriate school word that starts with an F and ends in UCK? Firetruck! And Flameduck!"--Stan Larsen

Added on 1/30/06:

"What if you could do Jedi Mind Tricks on anyone? like, you could say: 'you don't exist'...POOF! they're gone!:--Josh G
Josh G (to the tune of L'Chaim from Fiddler on the Roof): Stop calling, me that, you loser! Andrew L: Your name, sounds like, a transformer!

Added on 1/29/06:

"Do you enjoy spooning your way into your grave?"--Mrs. S talking to Mike S about his comments

Added on 1/28/06:

"Tracy and Josh are like pringles, once they pop, they can't stop"--Steve

Added on 1/26/06:

"We're Teachers. We're not in it for the money, we're in it for revenge."--Mr. H
"I have to fund raise every frickin' thing I'm in!"--Andrew L

Added on 1/22/06:

"DUDE, learn to spell... and get a Dell while you're at it. "--John C

Added on 1/21/06:

"Who is God? He's all 150 Pokémon combined!"--Ryan L

Added on 1/18/06:

Mrs. S: 1, 2, Joel, 4...
Andrew L: So Joel is now called "3"? what is 13 now, Joelteen?
"I can BS my way through a 10 page essay!"--Nick Z

Added on 1/12/06:

"You put the 'w' in 'whoa! you suck!'--Eric P
"I say we protest and burn something."--Mike S

Added on 1/9/06:

"You're pathetic at life, I'd just like to inform you of that."--Mike S
"It's a good thing that's our closer piece, so the audience will forget how much we suck"--Mike S

Added on 1/8/06:

"did you know that in experimental is mental?"--Steve A

Added on 1/2/06:

"I think we should start a fire."--Dan A at 2am staring at a TV

Added on 1/1/06:

"Oh yeah, stupid f***in MG bastards. You're cool. You think you're cool when you hide there and camp out with your MG and blast anything that moves! 'oh no, I'm too weak of a noob to actually fight, so I'm just gonna sit here and gun down anything that shows signs of life, lololol "oh look! something moved! BAM!" And then there's those Sniper bastards, who sit in their little hole, drinking a coke, picking off everyone, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! the only ones who can kill the snipers are the MGs. 'I'm too weak to come out and fight so I'm gonna be a noob and sit around and pick off whoever i want!' Stupid noobs. And then there's those stupid bots who need a f***in rocket launcher to take out one guy because they're so stupid! f***in noobs." --Vikas while playing online FPS games at 3am at John M's party

Added on 12/27/05:

"Happy Happy Hamburger Day!"--Ashley S

Added on 12/24/05:

"WTF: Where's The Fridge?"--Shaun M

Added on 12/21/05:

"I love it when she (the principal) says 'welcome to monday' on the intercom. Yeah, as if we have a choice."--Stan Larsen
"Fork you!" *stabs random chorale member with fork*--Stan Larsen

Added on 12/16/05:

"The secret is just to ignore me."--Glenn S

Added on 12/8/05:

(talking really fast) "Ever since I said it, it's been overused like crazy! 'your mom's a Game Boy,' 'your mom's a pizza,' 'your mom's a clock,' 'your mom's a waterbottle,' your mom, your mom YOUR MOM! QUIT IT!"--Stan Larsen

Added on 12/5/05:

Mrs. S: Can you tell me what a requiem is? Mike Si: A death mass!

Added on 12/3/05:

"Dan's a good driver, he doesn't crash, he just stalls"--Matt A
"ADD is as easy as 1, 2....hey look, a bird!"--Jon A

Added on 11/29/05:

"I'm gonna hunt you down and eat your insurance card!"--Josh G
"That's a really cute faceplate, with all the dots and stuff. Don't hit it!"--Rachel P talking about Steve's graphing calculator faceplate.

Added on 11/28/05:

"I live in the shadow...of digital cable"--Nick Z

Added on 11/26/05:

Steve: Estas un pollo loco
John C: crazy chicken?
Steve: yes!
"A homosexual man who loves homosexual women....Wait...how would that work?"--Andrew L

Added on 11/21/05:

Steve: Do you take voice lessons?
Glenn: Yes, it's called my "range extender kit"
Josh: Don't harass Glenn about his range, he's only like, 10, right? *Glenn punches him*

Added on 11/10/05:

Josh: We have determined that Andrew Lamb is secretly a fairy and likes to prance around in a tutu.
Andrew: What about me?
Josh: Oh, we were talking about something else.
Andrew: No you weren't! I heard "Prance"!!!!
Matt: Order the freakin' pizza!
Dan: No! I'm too lazy to talk on the phone
Matt: Do it! I'm hungry!
Steve: You do know that arguing with Matt is more talking than it is when you could be talking on the phone ordering pizza, right?
Dan: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Added on 11/19/05:

"I just realized that it isn't really a quote archive. It's actually a simplex network random insanity board. Quite simply put, a simplex network is one where one person can send, and the other can only receive."--Steve A

Added on 11/17/05:

Mr. Thurber: "You guys know how to decipher hieroglyphs and determine that an A, a P, and an L spell apple..."
Andrew L: "So apple is now spelled APL?"
"Star Wars is not DBZ, but it would be cool if it was."--Andrew L
*person in chorale puts music so it fits under the chair of person in front of him* "this is the perfect music stand."
Andrew C: "Yeah, that's great, until you're done reading the title page."
"Victory goes....to CPU4????" --Me after me and Stan got owned by the computer players in Mario Kart DS

Added on 11/13/05:

"Hey! that car is driving backwards!"--Justin D looking at a car being towed on the highway
"wait, the PSP and DS are WIRELESS and can go ONLINE without link cables??? That's crazy!!"--Justin D
"Don't worry, if anyone calls me, I'll take an axe and send it through the phone."--Eric P
"I gotta shave"--Stan Larsen

Added 11/12/05:

bum ba la bum ba ba bum ba la ba bum...bum ba la bum ba la bum bum bum buh la buh bum ba la bum ba ba bum ba la ba bum, bum bum bum bum bum ba la la bum buh bum! --Steve A singing the theme song to King Of The Hill
Steve A: I'm paranoid, I'm paranoid!!!! Everyone is stupid and they piss me off.
---THE NEXT DAY---
Steve A: I'm not paranoid today, I just realized that stupid people piss me off.
Steve A: WTF moment, coming up!
Me: Motion for WTF moment denied.
Steve A: Crap!
Steve A: Add this to the website.

Added on 11/9/05:

"what's 9 plus 6?"--Glenn S
"reverse psychology doesn't work on morons"--Steve A

Added on 10/29/05:

"PH33R M3 4Nd T3h P0w3r 0f l337"--Steve A
"Bop it! Twist it! Duck Sauce!" "Huh?"--Josh G
"Notice that she only took it (the earphones) out of one ear, NO ONE GETS BY ME!!!! INSUBORDINATE FOOL!" --Steve A
"What is more funny than a guy in tights on steroids, yelling at another guy in tights on steroids, about some other guy in tights on steroids, and then beats up some other guy in tights on steroids with a steel chair?" --Steve's thoughts on WWE wrestling on Spike TV
"So you take that down and pass it around..."--Steve A
"W.W.J.D.: What would Joel do?"--Steve

Older quotes:

"Guys, I want this to be Times Square on crack."--Brandon M (added 11/8/05)
"No! it can't be that song! *in deep voice* DAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZAAA!"--Joel I (added 11/4/05)
"If my eyes were lasers you'd be dead!"--Alex G (added 11/3/05)
"I think it'll be better if we make the light blue through his head."--Brad F (added 10/31/05)
"Buy the frickin' petticoats!"--Joel I
"Go bite worms!"--Joel I
"wait, there's SOLOS in this song?"--Mike S
"You wanna take this outside?" *picks up random object* --John C
"What is life? does it involve cheese?"--Eric P
"That sucks. Like a baby with a vacuum cleaner in a black hole. That's how much it sucks"--Stan Larsen
*I bump into Andrew Lamb who's holding a crate of soda*
Me: whups, sorry, imagine if you were holding hot chocolate.
Andrew: Imagine if I was holding a nuclear bomb!
Me: WHY WOULD YOU BE HOLDING A NUCLEAR BOMB IN A CONCESSION STAND???!!!
Andrew: Why wouldn't you be holding a nuclear bomb in a concession stand? Sounds like a personal problem to me.
"British people need to learn U.S. english words, like "bang," "make out," and "****"--Mike S
"I pledge allegiance to the lipstick!"--John V
*John V does a barrel roll* "LET HER GO!!"--John
"did you know that more people are killed each year by vending machines then shark attacks?"--Erica M while looking at Ben L attempting to get something under the snack machine
"The turtle's only weakness is that if it falls over on its back it can't move. If we glue two turtles together, they'd be unstoppable!"--Stan Larsen